When we think of the word “wealth,” what most often comes to mind is financial capital. We think about money. Yet, most wealth-holders share a common goal: They want their children to be happy and self-sufficient. Certainly, they want financial capital, but what they want even more is strong family capital.

And family units don’t just naturally fall into place by default. The odds of sustaining family wealth across generations are low. If families want to flourish, they need to work at it.

That’s why I have partnered with the MacDermott Method, and I am committed to helping you build strong financial capital and strong family capital. 

 

The Four Family Meetings ↓

The Four Family Meetings

The Four Family Meetings were designed by Kristin MacDermott, a licensed marriage and family therapist and expert in resilience. These meetings provide family members with tools they can implement immediately to improve their interactions, strengthen their connections, and foster a sense of belonging.

Meeting #1: Building Connection by Telling Life Stories

The premise of this meeting is that our life experiences inform our paradigms, beliefs, and behaviors. When people have different life stories, they develop varied perspectives, which can lead to conflict and disconnection within families. Understanding the stories about how people developed their different perspectives builds understanding and deepens connection. Families will walk away with:

  • A basic understanding of the cognitive behavioral framework that explains behavior: Namely, thoughts cause emotions, which in turn drive behavior.
  • A tool for understanding the stories and life experiences that have shaped other family members’ paradigms, beliefs, and thoughts.

Meeting #2: Using Conflict to Strengthen Relationships

The premise of this meeting is that how families argue is often more important than what they argue about. Conflict can be productive if family members use a healthy model of conflict resolution that allows them to better understand each other’s perspectives, to feel seen and heard (even when they disagree), and to reach solutions that result in everyone getting more of their needs met. Family members will:

  • Walk away with a clear understanding of and framework for healthy conflict resolution.
  • Commit as a family to the “Rules of Engagement” that allow the framework to be implemented so that relationships can reset and family units can grow closer through conflict. 

Meeting #3: Eliminating Resentment With Boundary-Setting

The premise of the third meeting is that family members are each responsible for protecting relationships from building resentment by setting and enforcing boundaries that eliminate or minimize resentments from taking root. When family members do not set and enforce boundaries effectively, they are hurting the relationship. Family members will walk away with: 

  • An understanding that a boundary that is not enforced is not a boundary; it is a wish. 
  • Tools for holding their boundaries in ways that feel good.
  • A framework for talking about needs and boundaries so that interactions with each other are positive.

Meeting #4: Aligning the Family Vision By Honoring Uniqueness

The premise of the final meeting is that families function best when the family culture fosters a sense of belonging for each individual family member. The family can achieve this sense of belonging by honoring and making room for each person’s unique strengths, values, and interests. Family members will leave this meeting with:

  • An understanding of and appreciation for each family member’s unique strengths and values.
  • Tools to increase the number of positive interactions the family members have with each other by creating a unifying vision for the family’s future and legacy that incorporates and uses each family member’s unique strengths, values, and interests.

Want to learn more?

I’ve written the introduction to Kristen MacDermott’s book, Resilient Family Capital: The 15 Strategies Every Family of Wealth Needs. Her book teaches you to:

  • Raise children with self-efficacy and self-esteem,
  • Honor each family member’s values,
  • Communicate well around difficult topics, and
  • Develop a healthy paradigm for resolving conflict.

 

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